Welcome

Siblings, I welcome you to LoveBigSis.com.  My messages are here for you to peruse and come straight from the heart.  I hope that you will find some things meaningful and entertaining, others thought provoking, and the rest worth your time.  I plan to be the “Big Sis” in your life.  Journey with me on my path through life.

 

Poetry Corner: Your Birth Day

  • This poem is dedicated to my daughters, the faces of LoveBigSis, Darryn and Quinn.  It combines my emotions during their births into one piece.  

 

YOUR BIRTH DAY

When you arrived, my eyes were met with joy
The cries you bellowed filled the room.
They changed the atmosphere.
Your sounds bounced against walls,
that before you were just empty, stark and cold.
Your presence cancelled out the groans of pain that lead your entry
You added life that the world had never seen.
The first second of your life began my unconditional love.
You brought with you dreams I never knew I could.
My tears flowed in awe of God’s precision in creating you.
I held you against my heart unsure of our journey ahead.
I looked down at your face and prayed for strength.
Forever bonded and eternally protected.
You are a part of me and I’m a part of you.
You were born; I am your mother.

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Mommyhood 101: Nobody’s Perfect

1st time? Nervous? Overwhelmed? Scared to make a mistake? Remember, you may want to be perfect, but your baby does not expect perfection.  Your baby wants your best logical effort.  Do for your child within your means with lots and lots of love!  Keeping up with others will only leave you in debt and stressed. If you focus on love, creating memories, and your personal development… financial increase and a strong bond with your child will fall into place!

I believe in God, I urge you to stay positive and prayerful!

Poetry Corner: The Side Door

I love poetry!  I think it is an interesting form of expression. One stanza can be interpreted several ways and still not hit the targeted meaning.  I rarely share my work, but feel free to read….

The Side Door

After dark and the day is done

Texting and giggling

Clinching the phone, all in flirt zone

Smiling and thinking

Should I stay or should I go?

 

He said he needs me

Hmm I wonder, what for?

Friends for a long time

Always have a good time

It might be fun to go?

 

The lady in me is trying to stay

The adventurous me wants to go play

Not tied down

No strings attached anywhere

So I say, YOLO.

 

Riding alone to my soundtrack of the night

Pull up at the front door

Looking left and right

Text him that “I made it.”

Wait for the signal to go

To my surprise…

He advised me to enter the side door.

 

The side door?

Ok, how cute and private?

It cuts out the walk of shame

Once inside I try to hide

The nervousness that came

A cup to relax

Another to suppress my logic

Half a glass more

my friend wants more

 

We end the night

Just as flirty as the start

Bedroom glances

Transferred lip gloss

And I head for the door

 

I jump in the car

Wave from afar

So Chill, yet so unsettled

My perspective became clear

 

Historically, sistas hated these doors

Entryways of slaves and underlings

Openings for sneakin’ and creepin’

A door for a secret

A SIDE CHICK ENTRANCE

No relationship in the stars

No family meetings in the cards

No need to call Miss Cleo.

 

This thing was a secret and nothing more

I filled the empty seat

Drank from the second glass

I was company and nothing more

I said to myself:

Don’t mistake it for more

Remember you entered the side door

Friends Forever Only

Because anything more would include:

Sunshine and special treatment

An Introduction to Moms

And a proud escort through the front door.

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What’s Your Imprint?

I’m bacimprintk…My people! I hope that you have been truly living out the time you are given.  Life is precious.  If you have not realized how precious, just wait until someone that you love more than yourself has to leave this earth.  Some of you are ready to close this window and look for the latest Kardashian news, but I am just trying to be real.

For just a moment, think about how you want to be remembered.  Do you care about the photos in the program of your memorial service?  Do the memories people share on that day matter to you? 

I can answer all of those in one word, NO.  Surely, people who plan every detail are wonderful because it takes a lot of pressure away from the family, but what will you leave behind.  What imprint will you leave on those who knew you?

Perhaps you are thinking, “Imprint? This world is built on the premise that every man is for himself.”  Well,  I want to tell you that the life you lived while people could see, hear, touch, and interact with you should speak louder than any words that you or anyone could author in your obituary.  It is more that donating change to needy children in the supermarket or offering someone a ride.  While these actions are noteworthy and certainly bless someone, I want you to dig deeper.  It is more that spending time with friends and being kind and generous to people that you like.

Your imprint can be larger than the people you CHOOSE to be around.  It is larger than your children, greater than your lifelong friends and even deeper than being a devoted spouse.  Kindness toward people you love is easy, try being nice to people you do not know.  Invest in a young person that is not related to you because you have some extra time or money, not because you are asked.

There are so many kindnesses you can bestow on people from day to day, but keep in mind that your imprint is more that what you do.  It is your heart.  What parts of your heart do you leave on your timeline?  The judgmental pieces? X-Rated segments?  Some how our society has the idea that technology at your finger tips means freedom of speech at the expense of your dignity and heart.  Try your best to be the best version of you in the streets, at home, in church, at work and online!

None of us are perfect, but people that have nothing to say in person (negative or positive) often have no problem dragging someone on the internet for anything!  It really bothers me.  While I believe the internet is great place for discussion of any kind, some people have no tact.

What am I getting at?  Your voice speaks for you and tells your life story just as much as your actions.  There are three kinds of people in your friends lists:  genuine family/friends, people that pay attention to keep in touch, and internet trolls.

Do not let the trolls surprise you, they exist offline too.  People that text you just to see if you are having less fun than they are on holidays, those who have nothing positive to say about you and blame you for it, and folks that invite themselves out with you just to negatively tear your outing apart.

Live to give of your energy.  Live to ignite someone else positively.  Live to be remembered for being a blessing.

 

 

Relationship Ikea?

Welcome back folks! I am sure you may be puzzled at the titled of this post.  Well, this title and concept was presented by motivational speaker, poet, and author, Ace Metaphor.  Take some time to view his video.

Should we expect to “get what we pay for?”  After the initial bliss, should we consider a love interest with issues damaged goods? My belief is that we have some issue.  Whether your special love is a neat freak, Pig Pen, a former foster kid, reformed criminal, judgemental christian or serial hand washer, people have issues.

There is an endless array of content on love and relationships, but the decisions you make are yours. Be confident enough to stand up for your needs and wants.  Moreover, a part of what many look for in love his someone to help them through their issues.  The search for lifelong companionship is a whirlwind of emotions, but you have the power to decide what is a deal breaker and what is not!

So if you end up with a date that you feel you have to assemble like a brand new bookcase, figure out if the instructions are too complicated for you!

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Mommyhood 101: Woes of Working

Have you exhausted your six weeks postpartum? Are the last few days with your beautiful baby looming near? Have you begun to see what outfits you can still get into for work?

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If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you are not alone.  People will try to make you feel better by saying, “Mothers go back to work all the time!”  As logical as it seems, it can make you feel worse inside.

My daughters are far from newborns or infants, but I am compelled to share because it is still hard to leave them each day, at three and almost two years old.  I find that in this situation, one must look for strength instead of yielding to the pain and guilt that are weakening you.

Sisters, do not let anyone belittle your feelings or flag you as overprotective.  Yes, many women across the globe have to work in order to survive, but that does not mean that they don’t dream of nurturing amd teaching their child until they go to kindergarten.  It doesn’t mean that they don’t fear the person caring for their child will hurt or ignore them.  These are real feelings that deserve love and encouragement as their response.

My Tips for Working Woes:

  • Start shopping for a sitter shortly after or even prior to giving birth.
  • Once chosen, invite the new sitter over (while you are still on leave) to spend time with the baby.  You can share care tips, and they will develop a bond.
  • Find a sitter that is supportive. If you want to call in the middle of the work to hear your baby’s “coo” then it should be more than ok.
  • Pray and/or Meditate.  My God carried me through this inner battle.  There is peace to be found, just seek it.

Moms, congratulations on your precious baby/babies and know that your feelings are shared by others.  My mother left me audio recordings of her voice upon her return and I always felt it was special of her, but as a mother myself… I know it was for both of us.

Book Review: “In Her Feelings” by Tanya Deloatch

In Her Feelings by Tanya Deloatch

Better to stand for something

Than building this wall

Of hatred, anger and disrespect

Senseless trying to figure out

Just who will run this country next?

-Excerpt from Politics, Tanya Deloatch

I bet you think you already know what this piece is about, right?  Like they used to say on MTV, “You think you know, but you have no idea.”  In Her Feelings by Tanya Deloatch takes the reader on a journey through 35 poetic expressions of love, heartache, betrayal, friendship and more.

Deloatch does not hold back her feelings in any section of this book.  The poems are written in language that is universal and identifiable to people of all walks of life.  She is certainly a storyteller that never beats around the bush.

I would advise you to prepare your snacks, grab a blanket, and get comfortable because this collection will keep you still for a while.  As I completed the poems, I found myself wanting to dive in to the next one.  Sometimes poetry is an artform that is enjoyed because one is taken back to a personal experience through the work, and other times you gain a new perspective through the writer’s experience.  In Her Feelings is giving us all of that!

I found this author’s sophomore project to be a good read.  It was an easy and quick read that took me on a roller coaster of reflection through my own life, and gave me the desire to celebrate the speaker.  However, it takes bravery to be “in your feelings” and share those thoughts with the world.  Deloatch not only succeeds, but inspires and strengthens at the turn of each page.

“In Her Feelings” by Tanya Deloatch, Marvelous Leaders Publications, pp. 61, $2.99 Kindle Edition and $8.99 Paperback

ISBN-13: 978-1532973154, ISBN-10: 1532973152

Purchase on Amazon

More Information on Tanya Deloatch