Couple Chaos: 5 Do’s and Don’ts for New Parents

heart-1647308_960_720So, you have a newborn baby! All of the pregnancy fuss is over, baby showers have passed, and the baby is here!  You look at your significant other moments after baby’s birth and imagine no greater feeling on earth.  Well, congratulations to you both!  There is no doubt the baby will bring sheer joy to both of you, but what if the bliss in your relationship comes to a screeching halt?

5 Spousal Do’s and Dont’s:

#1: Check on Mom. The woman you love just brought a child into the world. There may be aches, pains, and needs that she is ignoring for the sake of her newest priority, the baby.  Inquire with her several times a day.  Perhaps, you watch a television show with the baby and allow Mom a needed nap or shower.

#2: Check on Dad. Although the wife or girlfriend gives birth, your spouse is in need of your attention too.  With “baby on the brain,” it is easy to feel overwhelmed and like your spouse should understand you have a ton of things to do.  This is true, but whether they are on paternity leave or at work, show some affection and send loving texts while you are apart.  Make sure you muster enough energy to ask about their day when they arrive!

#3: Listen With A Smile.  You may be tired of hearing about the baby’s newest quirks or maybe you feel like your spouse does not ask about YOU anymore.  Whatever the topic, hear them out.  If you feel a little neglected, voice your opinion respectfully because it probably is not what you think.  Keep “baby envy” to a minimum Dads, your spouse’s life and perspective on it is forever changed.  Mothers need support and encouragement. If you give her what you want in return, I believe you will love the end result.

#4: Family Time is Quality Time. There must be time where you enjoy the blessing together. Try not to desert the primary caregiver by being gone too much.  I know the life you had before the baby seems far away, but the baby is only a baby once and will thrive from the love of the parents.  If you cannot get along, how is the tension affecting the baby? Spend time together and find special moments during baby’s naps.

#5: Romance Can Exist.  Be creative! Picnic in the living room, have a movie night, order takeout from your favorite restaurant… parenthood does not mean the couple cannot enjoy each other.  It means you nuture the baby together. Then, you find ways to make your spouse feel special.

It may not mean going on lots of trips and having loads of cocktails right away, but just learning to appreciate time at home.

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