Mommyhood 101: Nobody’s Perfect

1st time? Nervous? Overwhelmed? Scared to make a mistake? Remember, you may want to be perfect, but your baby does not expect perfection.  Your baby wants your best logical effort.  Do for your child within your means with lots and lots of love!  Keeping up with others will only leave you in debt and stressed. If you focus on love, creating memories, and your personal development… financial increase and a strong bond with your child will fall into place!

I believe in God, I urge you to stay positive and prayerful!

What’s Your Imprint?

I’m bacimprintk…My people! I hope that you have been truly living out the time you are given.  Life is precious.  If you have not realized how precious, just wait until someone that you love more than yourself has to leave this earth.  Some of you are ready to close this window and look for the latest Kardashian news, but I am just trying to be real.

For just a moment, think about how you want to be remembered.  Do you care about the photos in the program of your memorial service?  Do the memories people share on that day matter to you? 

I can answer all of those in one word, NO.  Surely, people who plan every detail are wonderful because it takes a lot of pressure away from the family, but what will you leave behind.  What imprint will you leave on those who knew you?

Perhaps you are thinking, “Imprint? This world is built on the premise that every man is for himself.”  Well,  I want to tell you that the life you lived while people could see, hear, touch, and interact with you should speak louder than any words that you or anyone could author in your obituary.  It is more that donating change to needy children in the supermarket or offering someone a ride.  While these actions are noteworthy and certainly bless someone, I want you to dig deeper.  It is more that spending time with friends and being kind and generous to people that you like.

Your imprint can be larger than the people you CHOOSE to be around.  It is larger than your children, greater than your lifelong friends and even deeper than being a devoted spouse.  Kindness toward people you love is easy, try being nice to people you do not know.  Invest in a young person that is not related to you because you have some extra time or money, not because you are asked.

There are so many kindnesses you can bestow on people from day to day, but keep in mind that your imprint is more that what you do.  It is your heart.  What parts of your heart do you leave on your timeline?  The judgmental pieces? X-Rated segments?  Some how our society has the idea that technology at your finger tips means freedom of speech at the expense of your dignity and heart.  Try your best to be the best version of you in the streets, at home, in church, at work and online!

None of us are perfect, but people that have nothing to say in person (negative or positive) often have no problem dragging someone on the internet for anything!  It really bothers me.  While I believe the internet is great place for discussion of any kind, some people have no tact.

What am I getting at?  Your voice speaks for you and tells your life story just as much as your actions.  There are three kinds of people in your friends lists:  genuine family/friends, people that pay attention to keep in touch, and internet trolls.

Do not let the trolls surprise you, they exist offline too.  People that text you just to see if you are having less fun than they are on holidays, those who have nothing positive to say about you and blame you for it, and folks that invite themselves out with you just to negatively tear your outing apart.

Live to give of your energy.  Live to ignite someone else positively.  Live to be remembered for being a blessing.

 

 

Relationship Ikea?

Welcome back folks! I am sure you may be puzzled at the titled of this post.  Well, this title and concept was presented by motivational speaker, poet, and author, Ace Metaphor.  Take some time to view his video.

Should we expect to “get what we pay for?”  After the initial bliss, should we consider a love interest with issues damaged goods? My belief is that we have some issue.  Whether your special love is a neat freak, Pig Pen, a former foster kid, reformed criminal, judgemental christian or serial hand washer, people have issues.

There is an endless array of content on love and relationships, but the decisions you make are yours. Be confident enough to stand up for your needs and wants.  Moreover, a part of what many look for in love his someone to help them through their issues.  The search for lifelong companionship is a whirlwind of emotions, but you have the power to decide what is a deal breaker and what is not!

So if you end up with a date that you feel you have to assemble like a brand new bookcase, figure out if the instructions are too complicated for you!

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Couple Chaos: 5 Do’s and Don’ts for New Parents

heart-1647308_960_720So, you have a newborn baby! All of the pregnancy fuss is over, baby showers have passed, and the baby is here!  You look at your significant other moments after baby’s birth and imagine no greater feeling on earth.  Well, congratulations to you both!  There is no doubt the baby will bring sheer joy to both of you, but what if the bliss in your relationship comes to a screeching halt?

5 Spousal Do’s and Dont’s:

#1: Check on Mom. The woman you love just brought a child into the world. There may be aches, pains, and needs that she is ignoring for the sake of her newest priority, the baby.  Inquire with her several times a day.  Perhaps, you watch a television show with the baby and allow Mom a needed nap or shower.

#2: Check on Dad. Although the wife or girlfriend gives birth, your spouse is in need of your attention too.  With “baby on the brain,” it is easy to feel overwhelmed and like your spouse should understand you have a ton of things to do.  This is true, but whether they are on paternity leave or at work, show some affection and send loving texts while you are apart.  Make sure you muster enough energy to ask about their day when they arrive!

#3: Listen With A Smile.  You may be tired of hearing about the baby’s newest quirks or maybe you feel like your spouse does not ask about YOU anymore.  Whatever the topic, hear them out.  If you feel a little neglected, voice your opinion respectfully because it probably is not what you think.  Keep “baby envy” to a minimum Dads, your spouse’s life and perspective on it is forever changed.  Mothers need support and encouragement. If you give her what you want in return, I believe you will love the end result.

#4: Family Time is Quality Time. There must be time where you enjoy the blessing together. Try not to desert the primary caregiver by being gone too much.  I know the life you had before the baby seems far away, but the baby is only a baby once and will thrive from the love of the parents.  If you cannot get along, how is the tension affecting the baby? Spend time together and find special moments during baby’s naps.

#5: Romance Can Exist.  Be creative! Picnic in the living room, have a movie night, order takeout from your favorite restaurant… parenthood does not mean the couple cannot enjoy each other.  It means you nuture the baby together. Then, you find ways to make your spouse feel special.

It may not mean going on lots of trips and having loads of cocktails right away, but just learning to appreciate time at home.

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Over the Hill or Stuck at the Start?

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When you turn 50, people and birthday decor will declare you, “Over The Hill!”  My perception of this phrase is that being over the hill means you have risen above and are beyond mood-altering insecurity, crippling pettiness, and trivial arguments.

Today, mature people are faced with a challenge.  They can choose to live life “over the hill” as did many before us, with grace and desire to invest in the new generation or hold on to the habits and hang ups of their youth.  If you look at yourself and see no room for improvement, I would venture to say that people see little to no change in you over the years.  I am not talking about wrinkles here.

The beauty that we exude from the inside is more important than the outer appearance.  It is how we are remembered. It is the impression we make on others.

  • Are there lots of judgements in your conversation?
  • Have you done anything to help a younger person not make a mistake you made?
  •  Is the world your classroom?
  •  Do you gossip more than you pray for people?
  • Do you delete friends more frequently than you call them?

If the answer to any of those questions is “Yes,” you may be stuck at the start.  Reflect on the statements people make about you.  Do they have the same complaints about you they had when you were 18? Selfish much? There is time to turn it around.

Get over yourself and get over the hill.