Poetry Corner: Your Birth Day

  • This poem is dedicated to my daughters, the faces of LoveBigSis, Darryn and Quinn.  It combines my emotions during their births into one piece.  

 

YOUR BIRTH DAY

When you arrived, my eyes were met with joy
The cries you bellowed filled the room.
They changed the atmosphere.
Your sounds bounced against walls,
that before you were just empty, stark and cold.
Your presence cancelled out the groans of pain that lead your entry
You added life that the world had never seen.
The first second of your life began my unconditional love.
You brought with you dreams I never knew I could.
My tears flowed in awe of God’s precision in creating you.
I held you against my heart unsure of our journey ahead.
I looked down at your face and prayed for strength.
Forever bonded and eternally protected.
You are a part of me and I’m a part of you.
You were born; I am your mother.

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Mommyhood 101: Nobody’s Perfect

1st time? Nervous? Overwhelmed? Scared to make a mistake? Remember, you may want to be perfect, but your baby does not expect perfection.  Your baby wants your best logical effort.  Do for your child within your means with lots and lots of love!  Keeping up with others will only leave you in debt and stressed. If you focus on love, creating memories, and your personal development… financial increase and a strong bond with your child will fall into place!

I believe in God, I urge you to stay positive and prayerful!

Mommyhood 101: Woes of Working

Have you exhausted your six weeks postpartum? Are the last few days with your beautiful baby looming near? Have you begun to see what outfits you can still get into for work?

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If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you are not alone.  People will try to make you feel better by saying, “Mothers go back to work all the time!”  As logical as it seems, it can make you feel worse inside.

My daughters are far from newborns or infants, but I am compelled to share because it is still hard to leave them each day, at three and almost two years old.  I find that in this situation, one must look for strength instead of yielding to the pain and guilt that are weakening you.

Sisters, do not let anyone belittle your feelings or flag you as overprotective.  Yes, many women across the globe have to work in order to survive, but that does not mean that they don’t dream of nurturing amd teaching their child until they go to kindergarten.  It doesn’t mean that they don’t fear the person caring for their child will hurt or ignore them.  These are real feelings that deserve love and encouragement as their response.

My Tips for Working Woes:

  • Start shopping for a sitter shortly after or even prior to giving birth.
  • Once chosen, invite the new sitter over (while you are still on leave) to spend time with the baby.  You can share care tips, and they will develop a bond.
  • Find a sitter that is supportive. If you want to call in the middle of the work to hear your baby’s “coo” then it should be more than ok.
  • Pray and/or Meditate.  My God carried me through this inner battle.  There is peace to be found, just seek it.

Moms, congratulations on your precious baby/babies and know that your feelings are shared by others.  My mother left me audio recordings of her voice upon her return and I always felt it was special of her, but as a mother myself… I know it was for both of us.

Couple Chaos: 5 Do’s and Don’ts for New Parents

heart-1647308_960_720So, you have a newborn baby! All of the pregnancy fuss is over, baby showers have passed, and the baby is here!  You look at your significant other moments after baby’s birth and imagine no greater feeling on earth.  Well, congratulations to you both!  There is no doubt the baby will bring sheer joy to both of you, but what if the bliss in your relationship comes to a screeching halt?

5 Spousal Do’s and Dont’s:

#1: Check on Mom. The woman you love just brought a child into the world. There may be aches, pains, and needs that she is ignoring for the sake of her newest priority, the baby.  Inquire with her several times a day.  Perhaps, you watch a television show with the baby and allow Mom a needed nap or shower.

#2: Check on Dad. Although the wife or girlfriend gives birth, your spouse is in need of your attention too.  With “baby on the brain,” it is easy to feel overwhelmed and like your spouse should understand you have a ton of things to do.  This is true, but whether they are on paternity leave or at work, show some affection and send loving texts while you are apart.  Make sure you muster enough energy to ask about their day when they arrive!

#3: Listen With A Smile.  You may be tired of hearing about the baby’s newest quirks or maybe you feel like your spouse does not ask about YOU anymore.  Whatever the topic, hear them out.  If you feel a little neglected, voice your opinion respectfully because it probably is not what you think.  Keep “baby envy” to a minimum Dads, your spouse’s life and perspective on it is forever changed.  Mothers need support and encouragement. If you give her what you want in return, I believe you will love the end result.

#4: Family Time is Quality Time. There must be time where you enjoy the blessing together. Try not to desert the primary caregiver by being gone too much.  I know the life you had before the baby seems far away, but the baby is only a baby once and will thrive from the love of the parents.  If you cannot get along, how is the tension affecting the baby? Spend time together and find special moments during baby’s naps.

#5: Romance Can Exist.  Be creative! Picnic in the living room, have a movie night, order takeout from your favorite restaurant… parenthood does not mean the couple cannot enjoy each other.  It means you nuture the baby together. Then, you find ways to make your spouse feel special.

It may not mean going on lots of trips and having loads of cocktails right away, but just learning to appreciate time at home.

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MOMMYHOOD 101: Lesson 1

Congratulations to all of my first-time moms and congratulations to the veteran mamas! I salute you.

This Mommyhood Tip is not about the baby, but simply for you. I know it seems like a rare occurence, but you are still important too!

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5 WAYS TO FEEL SPECIAL WITHOUT LEAVING THE BABY!

1.  ORDER IN! New babies require so much from us and we are often feeling exhausted and sorry for ourselves.  You may not have a babysitter or want to leave baby to have a special meal, but with Uber Eats, Grub Hub, and other food delivery services you can have your choice of local restaurant cuisine!

2.  HAVE A GIRLS’ NIGHT!  When baby is big enough to be around people this can be a fun way to catch up with friends, unwind, and get some help for an evening.  Great friends wouls love to meet your new blessing.

3.   SHOP ONLINE! If you are the type of girl that loves to shop, and miss it now that you are a mom….buy yourself something online.  There are countless retail vendors and apps available to calm your shopping itch. Some of my favorite sites are Etsy and Amazon. Some cool shopping apps are Wish and BooHoo.

4.  FIND A MOBILE HAIR STYLIST. Just because you are recouperating and breastfeeding around the clock, it does not mean you can’t have you hair done.  There are plenty of stylists that will come to your home for a small additional fee.  However, I would suggest getting a referral and/or reading reviews before you let a stranger in your home.

5.  ONLINE CLASSES OR “YOUTUBE UNIVERSITY.”  If you find your brain need stimulation beyond Sesame Street and have some energy left, learn something new.  YouTubers have a plethora of videos to teach anything from cooking to computer programming. I like to call it YouTube University.  If that is too informal, enroll in an accredited online university and study hard!

There you have it… 5 ways to hold on to some activities you may feel slipping away.