Poetry Corner: Your Birth Day

  • This poem is dedicated to my daughters, the faces of LoveBigSis, Darryn and Quinn.  It combines my emotions during their births into one piece.  

 

YOUR BIRTH DAY

When you arrived, my eyes were met with joy
The cries you bellowed filled the room.
They changed the atmosphere.
Your sounds bounced against walls,
that before you were just empty, stark and cold.
Your presence cancelled out the groans of pain that lead your entry
You added life that the world had never seen.
The first second of your life began my unconditional love.
You brought with you dreams I never knew I could.
My tears flowed in awe of God’s precision in creating you.
I held you against my heart unsure of our journey ahead.
I looked down at your face and prayed for strength.
Forever bonded and eternally protected.
You are a part of me and I’m a part of you.
You were born; I am your mother.

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The Balance: How Much Is Too Much?

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 Let’s talk about that interesting game of love. Some of us fair on the side of doting on our man and fulfilling his every need, others are as tough as beef jerky and demand everything!  I’m not here to point out dos and don’ts, but rather offer my opinion on the best middle ground.  I call love a game because a whole lot of people are out there playing…literally!

First plan of action, make sure that you are not a pawn; dive into love with purpose. Let your purpose be firm and unwavering in your spirit, many times our instinctual desires are not too much to ask.  Our plans go sour when we give them all up and devote our whole agenda to a complete opposite! (That is a completely different post.)

You may be saying “Big Sis, what balance? If he pisses me off, I’m poppin’ off!” Other sisters may be saying, “Give in? I do ALL I do for love.” I recognize both of these ideas as necessary and a part of a healthy relationship. I just charge us all to consider the following:

1. Love with your heart AND your head.  Do for the one you love to your heart’s desire, but take inventory at the end of the day and make SURE that the same is done for you in a heartbeat.  Does he comfort you when you cry?  Does he acknowledge when you come in and say goodbye?  Are his intentions deep enough to take you around his family and friends?  Is he kind and interested around your friends and kin?  Try not to give and give more until you are emptied out, what you put out should be replenished before you run out!  Many would not dream a relationship would lack these things, but women forego them all the time to maintain what they have.

If your final analysis finds you out in the cold, do yourself a favor: address it, call for action, look for reciprocation, and if it is still MIA remove yourself to find what you need! (Someone who means well by you is willing to make lifestyle changes for you).

2. Choose your battles wisely.  I agree with standing up for what you believe in, but let us strive to generate a discussion not a shouting match.  Please understand there is a difference.  Discussions usually volley back and forth and are even toned with SOME passionate moments.  A shouting match is a fight without the swinging!  These matches hardly ever lack berating, and most of the points on both sides are lost in the high volume!  Of course, sometimes people have to decompress and your significant other usually catches the brunt of this.  However, the key word here is sometimes.  You are no one’s punching bag, and if you love him then he should not become your sparring partner!

At the end of the day, if you are more enemies than lovers…reevaluate what you share. Discern how much willingness you have left to make it a more pleasant situation, and ask him the same.  The best of relationships cycle through turbulence, but don’t allow it to be your everyday.  (Someone who means well by you is willing to evaluate their communication with you and keep the respect levels high!)

Sister Spotlight: Lady Talk 101

On Tuesday nights, you will often find me tuned in to Lady Talk 101, an internet radio show on 4KLIQ.COM.  This show, hosted by Nesha “The Hair Diva” and Harmony “The Hustlette,” is a positive, entertaining, and informative arena for not just ladies, but everyone.

I enjoy the conversation between the hosts because it feels like I am just talking to my friends about life.  They bring awareness to their listeners on a myriad of pertinent topics while encouraging audience feedback. The ladies use their platform educate, motivate, and even support new businesses, artists, musicians, and products.

During breaks, DJ Technique has skills too. His selection has me groovin’! I urge you to listen and get involved.  The hosts take callers and even broadcast and take comments from social media.  They want to hear from you!

Tune in on Tuesday Nights from 8-10 PM PST on WWW.4KLIQ.COM.  The ladies will not disappoint!  Connect via Facebook and Instagram by searching @ladytalk101.

Messed up about Mother’s Day?

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching and many of you may be in a frenzy trying to have just enough money worthy of your beloved Mom.  I advise you to take a breath and remember the days of macaroni necklaces and construction paper cards.  Surely, we all want to adequately honor our mother’s, but specific amounts of money do not dictate what is acceptable.

3 Steps to a Thoughtful Mother’s Day gift:

  1. CONSIDER HER TO-DO LIST.  Your mom may be wondering how she will complete all of the tasks before her in the time allotted.  Well, you can be a blessing by helping to make her load lighter.  This day could even end in a home cooked meal prepared by, Chef *Insert Your Name Here.*
  2. REFLECT ON YOUR QUALITY TIME.  One thing in our lives that we all need more of is time.  This step requires your to recall a non-expensive activity you share that bring great joy to her day.  Maybe it’s a movie night with snacks, visiting her church, or going to the bookstore?  Offer time from your busy schedule to be with her.  The key here is to unplug and spend quality time.
  3. ASK MOM.  The element of surprise is always fun and rewarding in the end, but sometimes asking your mom leads to a great day.  Mothers will sometimes deter you from spending money because they want you.  Your time is enough.  Some moms simply want a day of rest.  While others, know exactly what gift they want and what restaurant they want reserved.

Happy Gift Hunting!  I am sure she will love it!

Welcome

Siblings, I welcome you to LoveBigSis.com.  My messages are here for you to peruse and come straight from the heart.  I hope that you will find some things meaningful and entertaining, others thought provoking, and the rest worth your time.  I plan to be the “Big Sis” in your life.  Journey with me on my path through life.